Willow Is Hilariously Bad

I finally gave this series a chance…which was a huge mistake. The unnecessary and unneeded sequel to the cult classic 1988 movie by the same name, Willow is yet another abomination from the Disney-Lucasfilm duo.

As a general rule for fantasy adaptations: if it’s not taking itself extremely seriously and abides by the general rules and traditions of the Medieval age, it is more often than not the literal incarnation of the Blood Eagle on someone’s eyes. And that’s me being kind.

Speaking as someone who thoroughly enjoys a great fantasy story whenever I can get one, watching Willow made me not only rethink the reason why I’m paying $7.99/month on Disney+, but also my enjoyment for the genre.

Obviously, I’m not going to let this abomination of a movie that wasn’t even that great to begin with ruin the nuance and creativity of a genre that features works, games, movies, etc. like The Lord of the Rings, A Song of Ice And Fire, The Witcher, The Chronicles of Narnia, His Dark Materials, Mistborn, The Elder Scrolls, The Wheel of Time, Harry Potter, etc., but I feel bad for anyone who watched Willow as their entry into the fantasy world.

This TV show looks, sounds, feels, and acts like it was something that the executives behind The CW scrapped early on in production but only brought back after a lack of fresh content and ideas. The show is so awful that I could barely get through the first two episodes without giving into the urge to gouge my eyes out. It’s that bad.

Essentially, the show is a high school production of the Lord of the Rings with the usual, horrible changes high school scriptwriters make. You all know what I’m talking about if you had the misfortune of being forced to watch a high school play for extra credit in an English class.

Willow Is Hilariously Bad(Disney/Lucasfilm-Willow-Official Trailer) — Willow Is Hilariously Bad
(Disney/Lucasfilm-Willow-Official Trailer)

All of the cast acts, talks, sounds, and dresses like a 21st American college student cosplaying the Medieval era, the sets look like they came straight out of Witcher: Blood Origin, the plot is duller than the show’s writers, the CGI is not bad (which is the only half-compliment I can give this show), and there is nothing “medieval” or fantastical about any of the places, characters, or villains shown.

And that’s to be expected as George Lucas (executive producer/creator), Bob Dolman (writer), and Ron Howard (director) never meant for it to be anything more than a goofy, comedic spin on the classic fantasy/mythological tales of the day.

These places, such as Tir Asleen, the Barrier, the Immemorial City, Cashmere (which is almost a direct rip off of Brandon Sanderson or the goat wool) and the Shattered Sea, sound so uncreative and bland because they were never supposed to be expanded upon past an offhand comment. Similarly, names like the Gales, the Scourge, Dove, Aik, Kit, the Lich, etc. don’t help the show in any way either as they are just as boring and unoriginal as the locations.

Everything about this show reeks of a desperate cash grab by the studio heads of Disney and Lucasfilm to disgrace and dilute another past property of a once great, innovative studio. I would talk a little about the plot, but it simply is a group of 7 or so unqualified, robotic characters going off to save an arrogant, shallow prince from monsters probably sent by the supposed-to-be-defeated evil Queen Bavmorda of the original movie. Aka: the Withered Crone.

If I end up being wrong about Queen Bavmorda’s alias, I’d honestly be shocked. This show is so predictably and poorly written that I don’t see how the writers of the show could even think of writing their own, original villain for the characters to fight. I’m sorry if this sound cruel and mean but I hate seeing properties/projects of the past used for tools in an endless game of greed and content sludging.

Sidenote: It was nice seeing Warwick Davis again and Val Kilmer’s Madmartigan character mentioned. It’s unfortunate that these two and their characters’ legacies are being shamed with such a horrible show.

I’m giving this show a 2.5/10 as even though it is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen, it at least knows that it’s a cash grab by Disney for more Disney+ subscriptions. Willow is nothing more than more of the content sludge coming out of Disney these days, which is a real shame as these IPs used to have some real value behind them.

As did Disney not too long ago.

Images Source: Featured Image: (Disney/Lucasfilm) (Willow | Official Trailer | Disney+ – YouTube)