Netflix should be ashamed of even having such a horrifyingly bad project on its platform. The Witcher: Blood Origin was worse than even I could have predicted as there wasn’t a shred of originality or creativity in the plot, while the CGI and production designs were simply abhorrent.
If I was the head of Netflix, I would seriously think about taking down The Witcher: Blood Origin off the service and issuing an apology to ever person who had the misfortune of watching such an abomination. The show is honestly that bad.
There’s not a single thing I can even say was half-decent about this how. Not even the inclusion of Joey Batey and his Dandelion could save the first few minutes of this show as the showrunners and producers AGAIN ripped off Gaunter O’ Dimm and made some bastardized version of him (I’m talking about the woman from the opening scene) mimicking Dandelion and being the show’s narrator, running Batey and his character’s presence in the show.
Plus, he only had two scenes of screentime as the producers only included him so they could show him in the trailer to get people hooked. It didn’t work.
There’re very few times where both the critics and the general public can come together and openly condemn horrific picnics of media, but thankfully, this is one of those times. Currently, Blood Origin has a 33% critics score and an ungodly bad 10% general audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, easily making this show one of the worst pieces of entertainment on the Netflix platform.
You don’t get any more united in critical and public opinion than that.
But, of course, there’s always one “professional review” outlet that has signed its soul away for the oh-so-sweet early/special access to Netflix and The Witcher franchise. And that just so happened to be IGN as they somehow gave this travesty a 7/10, clearly showing who the outlet’s objectivity and, quite frankly, their cohones belong to.
Anywho, among all of the negative elements, the show’s plot and production design is really what bothers me.
First, I’ll start with the plot as this show must have the most basic, generic story ever.
(Netflix-The Witcher: Blood Origin-Official Trailer)
Essentially, this show is set 1200 years before The Witcher in the time of the Elves domination over The Continent and is about “seven estranged warriors who come together to fight an unstoppable empire, bring humans and monsters together to the world via the Conjunction of the Spheres, and create the very first version of the witcher”-oh, wait, I just copied the literal lines of dialogue from female Gaunter O’ Dimm.
Yup, this show says the plot and sticks to it word for word in the second scene of the first episode, making this show absolutely redundant and unnecessary to watch.
I mean, even Dandellion (Jaskier, but I refuse to call him the way The Witcher wants us to) agrees with me as he flat out says the story is done to death…which it most certainly since it was not revised/expanded upon in a creative, unique way.
If you want to watch a movie with the same premise (aside from the witcher part), then go watch the Lord of the Rings movies. Trust me, you’ll get far more out of a 20-year-old movie franchise than you’ll ever get from this modern-day pile of trash.
Nevertheless, the writers make it a point to patronize anyone who agrees with the premise that this is done to death as they force Dandellion to cow down and relent his doubts with female Gaunter O’ Dimm’s mockery to get the actual story started.
As for the characters themselves, there’re the generic build characters you’d find in an early Elder Scrolls game, or in a Dungeons and Dragon starter set. I can’t even remember their names as there’s nothing fascinating, interesting, exciting, or distinguishable about them.
I get the showrunners want to introduce diverse and culturally unique characters into the fantasy genre (which does, admittedly, ruin the unique Polish/Eastern Slavic aspect of Sapkowski’s works), and that’s okay. In fact, it’s good to get multi-cultural experiences and cultures in different fantasy works (though, not in contrast to the story or intentions from the author), but not when it is done like this.
To be honest, the only thing I can remember about the characters is the names of the actors who portray them (i.e.: Lenny Henry, Michelle Yeoh, Joey Batey) and how jarring it is to see them all talking and sounding like modern day people in a Medieval-fantasy setting.
There’s nothing distinguishable about any of the characters as they all act, look, talk, and dress in the exact same way you’d expect of the average person, which is more the fault of the costume and accent departments. Still, the show does try introduces a few Elven clans, such as the Dog Clan, the Raven Clan, and the Ghost Tribe (stupid names, I know), to differentiate the Elves, but, like I said, the people of said clans all look and sound alike.
It would have been so much better if they made the Dog Clan primarily Elves of European descent, Raven Clan of African descent, and Ghost Tribe of Asian descent (or any similar combination) as that would have allowed some cultural pillars and traditions to be evident and separate the character’s backgrounds, while also introducing all the ethnicities of the Elves of the world.
Otherwise, all I hear is made up names of people from made up places incoherently mixed together by 21st century writers with little understanding about how cultures grew and interacted in the Medieval world.
(Netflix-The Witcher: Blood Origin-Official Trailer)
Aside from a few exceptions (i.e.: Byzantine Empire, Iberian Peninsula, Norman Kingdoms of Southern Italy, Islamic Caliphates of the Middle East, far western Mongolian Khanates, etc.), there wasn’t an overwhelming cultural blend like we see in The Witcher: Blood Origin without an extremely complex, militaristic civilization uniting everyone through conquest and conversion.
And that’s not what you have with this clan-like system of Elves, despite the fancy “Emperor” and “King” titles.
Plus, the use of well know characters, such as Dandellion, Ithlinne, Avallac’h, and Eredin, and degrading them in such cartoonishly dumb, lore-breaking ways is unforgivable. And especially Avallac’h and Eredin.
Not only do these two characters look so far from their video game and books descriptions/versions, but they also act like completely different characters. They made Avallac’h a nerdy, timid simp that has no conviction or courage (which is exactly the opposite of his character) and had Eredin be a weak, spineless crony that was jettisoned off to some unknown planet by Lenny Henry’s mage despite being one of the most powerful beings alive.
And I won’t even get into the change they made to his character involving certain…preferences. I’ll just leave it with he wasn’t like that in the books nor the games.
Oh, and before I forget, what are Eredin and Avallac’h doing on The Continent? They are Aen Elle Elves…you know, Elves from AN ENTRIELY DIFFERENT PLANET!
The whole reason why Eredin and Avallac’h were so dangerous in the book and games as one (Eredin) was trying to conquer and enslave the peoples of The Continent, while the other’s (Avallac’h) intentions were always questionable with his supremacist views over the humans, dwarves, and Elves of The Continent.
They shouldn’t be anywhere near The Continent at this point in the timeline of Sapkowski’s works.
Moving on, an even worse offense was the visuals and CGI.
Simply put, the stuff you’d see from bad early 1990’s movies (ex: Double Dragon, Spawn, Batman & Robin, Ghost Dad, Mr. Magoo, Mortal Combat: Annihilation, and just about anything Sylvester Stallone was starring in), has similar if not better special effects, costumes, and CGI than this show.
The monsters look HORRIBLE, the armor and swords look like they are made of plastic and paper mache, the portals/spells/magic weapons are about as realistic and compelling as Jar Jar Binks, and the cities and set designs look like they were carried over from the first season of The Witcher and given a new coat of paint. Did Netflix even use new sets for this show?
(Netflix-The Witcher: Blood Origin-Official Trailer)
You know what, I’ve had enough of ranting over this crap. Forget the rating I gave it in my preview of the show as I’m giving it a 0.5/10, surpassing even the worst episodes of Rings of Power as they worst show I’ve ever seen.
Watch The Crown Season 5 or Stranger Things Season 4 on Netflix instead as this show is not worth your time. Or, if you really want to get invested in a fantasy world, watch House of the Dragon on HBO, Lord of the Rings, or Andor on Disney+.
All of those shows are 1000X better than this garbage.
Images Source: Featured Image: (Netflix) (The Witcher: Blood Origin | Official Trailer | Netflix – YouTube)
In Text Image 1: (Netflix) (The Witcher: Blood Origin | Official Trailer | Netflix – YouTube)
In Text Image 2: (Netflix) (The Witcher: Blood Origin | Official Trailer | Netflix – YouTube)
In Text Image 3: (Netflix) (The Witcher: Blood Origin | Official Trailer | Netflix – YouTube)
